I love giveaways and prizes, so decided I’d start a small series of contests on this here blog. I have a mountainful of prizes and it’s better that you my dear readers (all 4 of you) receive them than the wasteful Goodwill.
In light of the controversy surrounding Hot Ghetto Mess, I thought an appropriate prize for this week’s contest would be the fabulous book 150 Ways to Tell If You’re Ghetto from the Wayans Bros . Whoever comes up with the best “you know you’re ghetto if…” line will win the book!
I’ve always had a soft spot for ghetto humor. Except for the more recent films, I think I’ve seen everything the Wayans family has ever done. A friend of mine who refers to himself as a “person of pallor” once watched an episode of the Wayans Bros with me. He couldn’t figure out why I was laughing so much, he chalked it up to alcohol consumption. It’s the working class humor I think…I mean that’s what it is to be ghetto, right? My dad refers to “border brothers” who listen to loud oompah music as “ranchero” and in England they have their infamous “chavs.” In essence, all these terms are code for working class.
Here’s a few examples from the book that showed me no matter how much I try and deny my societal position, when it comes down to it, I’m ghetto too.
You know you’re ghetto if…
You put sugar on your frosted cornflakes. (we did this when I was a kid)
You use a clothes hanger as an antenna. (um, still do it…)
You got all new appliances the day after the riots. (er, better left unsaid)
You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day. (I was a teenager!)
You have a drawer full of catsup, jelly, salt and napkins from fast-food restaurants. (Who doesn’t?)
Now that you know some of my dirty secrets, here a few favorites from the book:
You jump into a fight that doesn’t involve you.
You have graffiti on your shower curtains.
You steal and get beat only for getting caught.
Your moms washes paper plates.
You were close enough to hit Reginald Denny.
Now it’s your turn, let’s hear ‘em!